The Republican strategy moving forward: Same bullshit, more charisma

by occasionallywrong

The other day I opined how I’d like Republicans to see the error of their ways and completely revaluate all their policies to try to become more rational for their own sake as well as for the sake of the rest of the country. A few days later, I can safely say that I was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. The Republicans aren’t going to change a damn thing.

I consume an unhealthy amount of derp from right wing blogs, and I keep hearing really troubling things coming out of their mouths. Like this little gem from noted right wing hack Bernie Goldberg in his latest condescending pile of readable internet dogshit entitled “Santa Claus and the GOP Civil War”

What the GOP needs more than a conservative who can deliver uncompromising rhetoric, is a conservative with charisma — someone who can articulate conservative values but not scare the dogs and children and moderates who would be willing to vote for a Republican.

No. You don’t need someone who can better “articulate” your terrible policies. You need better policies. You didn’t lose big with women, youth voters, and minorities because you didn’t explain yourself well enough. You lost because everything you’re offering these groups of people totally sucks.

Firstly, don’t expect people you openly dismiss as unamerican leeches to vote for you. The whole “Obama voters just want stuff” talking point is absolutely ridiculous. Think of it this way, Mitt Romney is a guy who has it all. He was born into wealth, he’s enjoyed all the advantages that come along with being in the upper echelon of society, he has an ivy league education and millions upon millions of dollars. But Romney saw himself as a victim of an unfair tax code. He wanted even more personal wealth, and he didn’t want to earn it by getting back into the private sector and fighting for a bigger piece of the pie. He wanted to get that money by changing the US tax code to reroute tax dollars that go to the poor to himself.

Your economic policies absolutely suck balls for anyone that isn’t already rich. And even a good handful of rich guys are smart enough to remember back to the last time Republicans were in charge that they proved the only things they know how to do is wreck the economy and get us tangled up into expensive new wars, so stop acting like everyone who didn’t vote for another years of trickle down economics is some kind of idiot. There’s absolutely no reason to believe Mitt Romney’s insultingly vague economic policy would have outperformed Obama’s, especially after Obama was able to pull the economy away from the brink of depression, and take us from hemorrhaging  hundreds of thousands of jobs to 25 consecutive months of job growth.

All my conservative friends tell me that social issues aren’t important, but that’s just because the Republican position on just about every single one of them is obviously wrong and will be embarrassing to look back on decades down the line. Why on Earth would anybody who is gay or has gay friends or family members want to vote to against their rights? Why try to stop them from getting married or visiting their dying loved ones in a hospital? There’s no reason. It’s unnecessary social cruelty to appease a group of old religious busy body types who grow increasingly irrelevant each election cycle. Even if I was rich and wanted the tax cut, you can’t expect me to vote against the rights of the people I love.

Bernie’s also been quick to blame cretins like Todd Aiken and Richard Mourdock for their comments on rape for the loss last Tuesday. The problem is, Aiken and Mourdock didn’t come up with those ideas out of nowhere. The idea that women should be forced by the government to carry rape babies to term is a plank in the Republican 2012 platform. The only mistake Aiken and Mourdock made was admitting it out loud instead of hand waving away like Mitt Romney and all my Republican apologist friends did.

Republicans, for your own sake and for the good of the country I hope you learn to moderate yourself in the next four years. Stop focusing on your rhetoric, step out of your alternate reality and try to listen to the voters you so despise. They didn’t vote for Obama to get “free stuff,” they voted for him because he doesn’t actively demonize and belittle them like you do. There’s a reason why the country doesn’t trust you to run the economy, and bringing in a more charismatic guy to explain to gays why they shouldn’t be allowed to get married won’t make a lick of difference. You can try to better explain to women that they should pay out of pocket for their ovarian cyst medicine if their boss decides he doesn’t want the insurance company to cover it, but you’re wasting your time.

If you honestly believe the only thing you did wrong this past election was rhetoric, you might as well run Romney again in 2016. Maybe four more years of finely toning his bullshit talking points will convince all us idiots that voting for tax cuts for the rich at the expense of the women/gay/minority rights is all this country needs to compete with all the western countries who moved past all this bullshit years ago and live measurably happier lives.

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